Fear

What is fear? Wiki says its 'an emotional response to potential danger.' And there is this variety of phobias with fancy names which I never seem to remember like phobia of heights, water, etc. Anushka has a phobia too. A phobia of loud noises. On googling, I find that its called 'Ligyrophobia.' See, I told you these fancy names are so hard to remember. Anyways, she is petrified of fireworks, loud announcements, thunder obviously, and the likes. Each time we think she'll outgrow it but things haven't changed much since the past 5 years. I guess I'll just talk to her doctor at her annual checkup coming up just to make sure that she doesn't need any extra help.

Coming to think of it, everyone has its own fears,rite? I, for one, am eternally scared of all insects and all bugs. So, basically, anything that crawls...or flies at our level. Yes, you can picture me jumping on the sofa on seeing a big bug on the floor. But I have learnt to control the yelling and screaming as I mature .....or more, as I am a mom now and I have to comfort the kids before I comfort my own self....lol. And yes, I am scared of the dogs and cats too. That makes me think, what is one common thing that everyone, or a lot of us are scared of......across the world. Or at least India. And the one thing I can come up is fear of ..........happiness. Yes, happiness. And now what's that?

I remember the time when I was little, or actually even now, when I laugh out loud, literally, there definitely will be someone to tell me, "Sheetal, don't you laugh so crazy, you'll cry soon." So we can't even laugh our hearts out in fear of sabotaging our happiness. Why do we always think about jinxing it? Why can't we live even one emotion to its fullest? Why do we pollute it by over-thinking? I heard this beautiful line in the movie 'Paheli.' It says "aaj ki aad mein kal ko ojal hi rehne do." Doesn't this make sense? Why can't we all just live in the present without worrying about the future? Or is it more prudent to think ahead so that the plans we make are not foiled. Or rather, we don't get hurt. Yes, its only natural to save us from being hurt. But in order not to get hurt, we don't savor the moment that makes us truly happy. And that I should say is 'fear of happiness.' I am sure its more complicated than this but I leave that for later.

I don't really know how to overcome any of the fears. And the only thing that comes to my mind are these lines from the movie 'Invictus.' They are actually written by Winston Churchill but Nelson Mandela gave it as an inspirational gift to the thereby Rugby captain of South Africa.

"We are still the masters of our fate,

We are still the captains of our soul."