Sanskaari Parivaar

We are a country that is extremely proud of its values and culture. Marriages are considered sacred, families don’t break, kids don’t leave the parents and thereby, you maintain your ‘aan’ and ‘baan’ in the society.  Now how do we make sure that in this 'modern' age, we continue to preserve our 'khaandan ka naam' and keep our families together?

People in India have only one bakra to shoulder this responsibility. The BAHU.  The new and naveli dulhan. She is the bringer of all good or evil. The saas/sasur/husband etc. are dudh ka dhula. So we need to 'coach' only our upcoming bahus to some special lessons as she can make or break families.  

To address this special need of the time, this university in Madhya Pradesh is coming up with a 3-month course titled ‘Sanskaari Bahu’ from next year. The university wants to impart the correct ‘sanskaars’ to the upcoming bahus. According to my imagination, the modules covered will be:

A.     Worship Thy Husband who is your Lord

B.     Worship Thy Saas who gave birth to your Lord

C.      Sacrifice – Your prime virtue

D.     Khud tuto par parivar ko tutne na do

E.      Road to Heaven

So, all you moms and dads who are looking for a suitable groom, make sure you enroll your daughter for this course. The certificate will give you an edge over the ‘competitors’ and hopefully get your daughter a very ‘sanskaari’ parivaar.

Do you see my blood boiling and my gut curling at the very thought of this? You can’t. It is making me so mad that I am delirious with the absurdity and stupidity of this whole thing. 

Yes, the girl is coming into your family. You have certain habits and ways, but she has her own habits and ways as well. Change can’t be one-way. It needs to be both ways. If you want her to adjust to your ways, you need to adjust some for her as well.

The saas-es of today as well as yesteryears, despite all the so-called wisdom and maturity that they have achieved over the years, fail to realize one thing. The flow is Love >> Happiness >> Willing sacrifices >> Unity. You can’t skip the first two steps and expect to land on the third step directly. 

And have you ever heard of any saas being burnt, or any husband being tortured? I doubt you have. Don't you think there should be a 'Sanskaari Saas' class instead? Or a 'Your-wife-is-not-your-maid for the dummies'?

While the western world is taking a step forward with the #metoo movement, here we are, taking a step backwards with our 'Sanskaari-bahu' certificates. It's ridiculous!

Let’s not preach – Our families are together because we are Indians.

Let it be – Our families are together because we all love each other. 

A Gorgeous Day!

The drizzle was in a mood to tease me. I looked at the little drops 'tip-tipping' on my deck, handed my son an umbrella as he left for school, and headed to my desk to 'tap-tap' away. 

While I was staring at my screen, guess who nudged me? My good friend, the Sun. He knocked at the door wearing his widest smile, along with that twinkle in his eyes. So smart, ya? He knows its impossible for me to say no to that. Talk about irresistible charm! Oh boy! 

And so, I complied. Toss the work! Don the walking shoes!


 I ain't moving my feet quick today, neither am I counting my steps. Today, we are out for a 'leisure stroll'. 'Breathe-the-air-Smell-the-rose-type' stroll. 

Sun feeling so nice and warm on my skin. 

Wind blowing my earbuds away. The whooshing was competing against 'Radio Mirchi'. I let it win. Do I hear the chirp-chirp? Music it is! 

The saplings trying to push their way from below the earth, eager to peek at the new world. 

Squirrels scampering away, crossing my path (Thank goodness for no superstition here). 

I soaked in all the sounds and sights, while I smiled at a gardener who looked up to me, his arms full of some pretty purples and whites. 


All you people, who are just getting back from work, I know you are tired. But hell, chuck the couch, ditch the cooking today! Just get out and let this gorgeous day seduce you and take your worries away. For there is always a Chipotle (hint, hint...lolll).

Penny in the Sky

The roar of the waves never fail to soothe my chaotic mind. The noise of my thoughts is cacophonous. A constant buzzzzzzz swirling through the mysterious alleys of logic and emotions. The water soaks it down. I get some downtime.

The sun is tired, and jealous. He wants to dip into the blue and green waters and get drenched himself. He starts his descent into the horizon and soon disappears into the sea. He is going to be there for a while before he shows up, all fresh and warm, tomorrow morning.

I look up at the sky, trying to savor the different hues of orange and reds, before it all turns dark. My phone keeps clicking away, trying to capture this beautiful expanse into my small screen.

We are on our way back to the hotel. The Californian beaches are going to sleep. I want to follow suit. While I see the cars zipping by on the side, I look straight ahead. And there she was! Coming out from the hills, bashfully, the Moon herself! She wore a copper-colored gown and looked striking as never before. She decided to go for the non-glossy look today. Nothing too shiny. Nothing too blingy. No gold. No silver. But still pretty. Very very pretty. 

Metallic matte was her theme for the night.

I couldn't take my eyes off her. She was right ahead of me, and so close. I reached out to touch her, but she was in a joyful mood. She started to play games with me. Hide-n-seek! The trees and hills offered her the perfect arena to toy with me. I have to admit I was a bit irritated. She wouldn't let me take her pictures. I frowned upon her. She laughed and slowly started to go further away. What did I do to cross her??? I wondered. Talk about being camera-shy. 

Google later told me that the Moon, had walked into an eclipse today. She had absorbed the rays of the mighty Sun and bronzed in it. Hence, the 'coppery' appearance, the 'penny' look. Anushka tagged her as 'The Penny in the sky'. People called her the 'Blood Moon'.

She went back to her silver self after a bit. Far away, she shone, doling out flying kisses to all of us down here, assuring us that she will always be there, moving our waters, inspiring our poets, cuddling with the lovers, calming our nerves, inspiring our dreams, as we close our eyes.

O Moon, I love you .....'to the moon and back'.

Personal Hotspot!

We live in a world that echoes with noises. The source can be external, or internal. India is bustling with people and it’s hard to find any solace. USA, has a different problem. We are haunted by our own voices that bounces within our little heads. No peace here too. And in this chaotic cacophony, we find our energies getting drained, our senses weakening, and our body slowing down.

So how do we find some quietude? How do we re-charge? How do we find our very own personal Hotspots? 

After a furious morning, the day slowed down for me. Clients got a little less demanding. Boss was out of the way. I laid my head down on my desk. And almost instantly, nostalgia rushed in. Memories of the good ole school days. When you would lay your head down on the school desk. To blush a smile, or to shed a tear, without getting caught. And sometimes, simply out of sleepiness. As the head sank in our very own arms, the background noise became wordless and meaningless. And the mind, simply rested, almost charging itself with renewed energy, to go through what came next.

Next, came the teacher. The squeals and giggles of the girls and the shouts of the boys whimpered away, and the class greeted in one single voice ‘Good Morning Miss’. 

It’s been a while, isn’t it? Since you have tried doing the same. So while the sun’s still out and the light’s still full, and the dusk is a few more hours away, just lay your head on your desk and feel the time stand still. And as you come out of your reverie, you will be find yourself geared up to read the next email, or walk into your next meeting. 

Zap up people!!!

Travel by Train

There is something about traveling on a train.

I had to take a work trip up to New York a few days back and got a chance to take the Amtrak. I ‘fitted’ well into my seat on the Restaurant coach, with my laptop perched up the table. (Boss was with me, so had to work, or at least pretend to work ;). I tapped and clacked away on the keyboard as I sat, watching the world go by. Tis the season of fall and the leaves were showing off their best colors. The bright yellows, the burning oranges, and the fiery reds dashed by distracting me from my document I was trying to focus on. It was too beautiful to ignore. Mercifully, the wifi on the train was slow and my eyes were able to sneak in a peak or a few out the window. 

The streets, bustling with cars were waving me bye-byes. The buildings, old and new, were sneering and jeering at me. The river was painting a picture-perfect poster along with the sleepy boat decks and urging me to buy it. The far-away mountains beckoned, rather yelled out loud craving for my attention. The tunnels echoed a sweet whisper in my ear each time it ran by. And as I emerged from several of them, my eyes feasted on the skyline of one of the biggest, busiest and the most bustling city of the world, NYC. 

I could write an entirely different blog about NYC but today, lets get back to the station and hop on our train back home. The once-vibrant colors of the trees, that now looked dull, reminded me of the evening that had creeped in so early. As the sleepiness of the countryside replaced the magnificence of the skyscrapers, I let the landscape steal me away, from the mundane and routine of my life. A bit of tranquility, a dash-full of solace, amidst the the clickety-clack of the train. The rocking, oh so soothing, made me drowsy. Even the wine ;) loll. (What better way to end the day with a glass of Chardonnay). I leaned back, absorbed the sights as it started fading away into the dusk until it were replaced by my own reflection. I called home to check on the kids. 

As far as I am concerned, train is always the best and the most comfortable way to travel, especially shorter distances. Flying can come in handy when the miles run into thousands; however, travel by air is stiflingly boring. The snarling security lines, the rigid restrictions on baggage, the crammed-up seats, the haughty stewardesses, and the stiff necks. Ouchy!!! Wish Amtrak would reduce their tariffs and allow us to travel with families, and not just on business.