Wanted!

We all have this inane desire to feel wanted. By which I don't mean we want our pictures to adorn the walls of the local police station. Na-ah!! But to feel wanted, by the people we love. To feel needed, to feel we make a difference in someone's life, to feel loved.

To feel wanted has been one of the most driving forces of human nature. No matter how much we preach of living independently, it is our association and the following dependence on each other that will lead us through our life. It starts from the time we are babies. A baby wants his mother to hold him and cuddle. A toddler wants his father to clap at his antics. A schooler wants his family to praise his accomplishments. A teenager wants to be accepted in the peer circle. A lover wants his partner to love him. A husband wants his wife to support him. A new mother wants her baby to call her mommy. And I want my blog to be read and commented on...lol. And the cycle goes on. We all, at one point of time, resort to what I call ASPs (attention-seeking practices), both good and bad to attract attention in whatever form there is. We want to be talked to, want to be heard, and want to be seen.

The need to be wanted defines the very purpose of our existence. The logic and the underlying cause for your presence in this infinite world. To feel needed justifies our being. The day we don't feel needed or wanted, depression and loneliness enters. And so with it, the need to discontinue living, and get extinct. To be at a place without any need to be there is a very lonely island to be at. We rather just stop breathing. And no matter how hard we try to become an island ourselves, we will not sustain. A couple of days back, I watched this Danny Boyle movie, 127 hours. Aaron Ralston is an avid mountain climber and loves to run away on such expeditions all by himself, without informing anyone of his wanderings. On one such adventure, he slips down a narrow canyon with his hand stuck under a huge rock. After 5 days of surviving on a bottle of water, he finally cuts his arm with a pocket knife and runs home to the safety of his people. After which, he never stepped out without leaving a note. Moral of the story: You can't conquer independence without the crowd. You need them and they need you. We need to co-exist with mutual symbiosis. To help others and be helped, to want others and be wanted, to care for others and be cared, to love others and be loved.

Having recognized the need to feel wanted, we also need to understand the importance of making someone feel wanted. Especially the one you love. Break those walls. Let them in. Let them enrich your lives with the beautiful blossoms as in Spring. Not only will they love you with all they have and can, but they will promise you that you won't die a lonely man. This applies however even for the 'not-so-loved'. You have a leak in house, and you need a utility man, a plumber. Shower them with some extra 'bhaav' and 'gratitude' and make them feel wanted. Make them feel that you'd be totally hopeless without them. And trust me, not only will they fix your issue, but they'll throw in a few extra tips and screws too. ;).

But sugar-coating your plea of help comes with responsibility. Responsibility to employ fair and ethical means before and after. Respect and honor needs to go on. Or else, you will be exploiting the 'feel to be wanted' the way it shouldn't be. Distrust and distraught is what will follow, you'll find yourself in waters very shallow. Or may be deep, coz the next time you flush your toilet, it'll all spurt out on you ....lol.

WANT AND BE WANTED IN LOVE AND LIFE,
THAT'LL GET YOU THROUGH THIS ROCKY TIDE.