Sita-Ram

Did you know that Sita was the first single parent in history? Did you know that Sita gave birth to the twins in the forests and raised them all by herself? Did you know that though Sita was the ideal wife, Ram wasn't the ideal husband? Did you know that there can be a Sita without a Ram in a temple, but there can't be a Ram without a Sita? Did you know Ram, the perfect man, the perfect God, that we so worship, wasn't so perfect afterall?

 

My girl keeps watching the Ramayan cartoon DVD over and over in my car. That reminded Jignesh and me of the Doordarshan days, the days of Ramanand Sagar's Ramayan that kept people hooked to the television and off the streets. But as we reminisced, we kinda started arguing about some details on the legendary story leading to the birth of Lava and Kush. That made me don my googler gloves again and keying off to find the correct story that I seemed to have 'forgotten.' And I was just so shocked by my findings that I was compelled to write this blog. Maybe you all probably just are more enlightened than I am, or probably this will refresh your minds as it did mine.

 

After the victory at Lanka, Ram and Sita would have been thrilled to see each other after a long time of separation. Or we imagined so. But instead, Ram met Sita with a cold heart, eyeing her with suspicious looks since she was held captive by another man. Sita, heartbroken, summonded Lakshman to put forth a pyre and volunteered to give herself to Agni. Agni proved how pure her heart, body and soul were that Sita was untouched by the flames and emerged flawless. They went back to Ayodhya and Sita was soon expecting the heir to the kingdom. But Ram, though a great son, a great king he was, wasn't that trusting a husband. He was not able to escape the social slandering and took the allegations to his heart, and decided to banish, BANISH Sita from the palace. He told Lakshman to take Sita to the forest and ABANDON her. Sita gave birth to Lava and Kush in the forest, and raised her by herself. When the twins were in their teens, and the news of their valor reached Ayodhya, Ram summoned them and Sita back and asked Sita to give one final Agni pariksha. Insulted and embarrased, she said "If I have remained true to Ram in mind, speech and action, may the Mother Earth embrace me in her bosom." No sooner had she spoken than the ground beneath her feet split wide open, and before anybody had the time to react, she entered the depths. Thus ended the exemplary life of Sita with a bitter end.

 

Some say, inorder to defend Ram, that Ram gave up Sita for the kingdom's sake. It was his utmost personal sacrifice since he loved Sita more than anything in the world. He didn't abandon his wife, he abandoned the queen. He did not reject her as a wife, but Sita did reject him as a husband in a personal sense. This was evident from her act of denying to undergo a second agnipariksha and submitted herself to Mother Earth. Sita was clearly the winner.

In the words of Swami Vivekananda, " There may have been several Ramas, perhaps, but only one Sita."

The Picnic

It was ironic how I went thru the entire summer without once thinking of going on a picnic. And just when winter was around the corner, out sprang the idea of having an outdoor day. And well, fortunate that I am to have equally enthusiastic friends, we did go out to embrace the sun for one full day, from dawn to dusk, I should say considering the late lateefs we have in the gang, from noon to dusk.

 

We went to Burke Lake, though I never really got to see the lake or the row boats for which it is generally known. But we had one huge chunk of well-mowed lawn all to ourselves, not to forget that the space was fully loaded with three picnic benches, which we never actually make use of. The true indians that we are, we prefered to shun the bench and cool our "butts" on the green luscious grass. Speaking of which, we also had a true indian traditional picnic lunch of puri, alu sabzi and shrikhand. It was delicious. You would think we perhaps all just dropped down on the verdant 'carpet' for a nappie, but we didn't. The guys went ahead to continue their game of cricket, while we girls took a joyride on the toy train. Its truly blissful to take pleasures in these small 'kiddish' things in life. Life seems simple in such times.

 

Sumit's mom enthralled us with some old forgotten shayaris while we tried to play the school-time favorite games of "the chain catcher." Rosy and I were so out of breath in just a few minutes that we just gave up and left poor Krishna all by himself to catch the others. We were just complete misfits I should say. And while the sun was setting, we thought of buttering up the bread, and sprucing it up with chutney, tomatoes and cucumbers to finish our day with our true desi sandwiches.

 

The fun day however did end with a few injured friends, some limping their way back home, while some ending up with ankle or wrist sprains. This just proves how they all just literally "ran and bowled" their way to having a wonderful day. Take it easy friends and do not forget to see Deya's album.

Hello??

I remember the time when the term "dialing" actually meant dialing the number on the big black fone and not just pushing digitalized numbers on a sleek handpiece. I remember the time when "hello" was more of a question, an inquisitive, interrogative term of expression coz those were the days when the caller ids didn't exist. Hello???? (which meant who is it, who cared to call me, where are you calling from). All those interrogative adverbs (the true grammatical phrase for questions) all conjured up in just one word, hello.

 

The word hello, is now appropriately used, as a true term of greeting. The fone rings, you see the name, the number, and you say "hello." No questions needed. You know who is calling you, and you even know from where. It also eases your misery of having to put up with those marketing calls that you so want to avoid or even some unwanted friends that you don't want to deal with. Caller ID is a true blessing in disguise. However, it is not so good too in case you want to lie about your whereabouts. For that you have your cellfone though. So life is better.

 

And one thing I had always marked was that there are different tones of hellos you get when you call. There is the sultry lazy hello that sounds like "haloooo" or extra curious "hello..a very curt question" or the twirling of the tongue "halloouuu." Its funny how each one has its own distinct way of saying just one word. And another amazing fact about hello is that inspite of really being an english word, it is universally accepted as a telephone greeting in all languages. You don't really say "namaste" or "Guten Tag" or "Bonjour" on the telefone, do you?

 

Lastly, I remember reading somwhere, that when you leave someone you love, don't ever say goodbye. Goodbyes mean you might not meet again. Instead, end with a hello coz hello gives you hope and optimism that you will meet again. So I too end this blog with a big HELLO. Its weird, isn't it?

Can you forgive and forget?

Paryushan, the single most important festival for the Jains just ended. The last day ends with "pratrikraman" - a ritual in which our holy hymns/sutras/shlokas are recited abundantly. It apparantly is a process of absolving our sins by self realization and honest remorse. With this, we ask our family, friends and all aquaintances for forgiveness. Michhami Dukkadam - which truly means "I ask for your forgiveness for any hurt that I caused you intentionally or unintentionally" - becomes a form of greeting for the next few days.

 

Now, the moot question that is hovering on my mind is "Can you hold a grudge against someone till the end of time?" or eventually, you do tend to "forget and forgive." Yes, forget and forgive is the godly way to live your life. But can you truly adhere to it? Especially, if the person against whom you hold your anger, commited the deed well-intended, perhaps fully aware that you will be hurt.

 

I suppose we mortals are capable of forgiving those whose acts were pure accidental, not intended to cause any harm. But what about the other "species" whose contriving minds had every purpose to hurt you. Can you forgive them? I believe that your resentment, your anger, your hostility does tend to wither with time. The intensity does tend to narrow with time. And as they say, time heals all wounds, I will say, time heals resentment too. I might be capable of forgiving someone in some time, but to forget is what makes me think. I suppose, forgiving is far easier than forgetting. Forgetting would compound to be an act of godliness which is very rarely found amongst us. And if it were, then we would all be saints.

 

With this, Michhami Dukkadam to my family, friends and acquaintances. If it lies in your heart to forgive me for my sins, I humbly bow down to you. If not, my sins won't go unpaid in this cosmic cycle of karma, so don't bother worrying about it too much. Afterall, stress is not good for health.

 

Music, crowd and God

 feel there is a strong connection with music, crowd and God. At least for us Indians. Agar public nahi ho toh festival ka majaa nahi aata. And same goes with the music. When there is music, the ever chanting of the commonly sung hymns vibrating in the ethereal marbled space of a temple, it is very easy to get lost.....within yourself.

 

Yesterday was Janmashtami and I had a close tete a tete with this harmonious union of music and His Lord, albeit for just a few minutes while we made a beeline for His Darshan. When I closed my eyes even for those few minutes and let myself drown in the chant "Hare Rama Hare Krishna, Krishna, Krishna, Hare, Hare", letting the magic of the the holy sanctum sanctorum emanate into me, I couldn't help but feel closer to Him, or I would say closer to my ownself. Afterall, God resides in our hearts. And as the enlightened men have said, when we find our inner peace, we find Him. And strangely this "noise" how loud it can be, brings about a serene calmness in your ever-wondering soul and you feel at Peace. Peace with all your troubles that torture your mind day in and day out.

 

Anyways, coming out of my spiritual reverie, I have to write about the feast that followed the darshan too. And a feast it was. Sumptious, delicious and totally vegetarian, or i should say, jainitarian. Sheera, gulab jamun and paneer matar were absolutely made in heaven. So much for the sweet-toothed cheaters  to cheat themselves into the line to get a second helping.

 

Well, the next three months are thronged with festivals. Lets celebrate.