Storm!

I step out of the house to drop Anushka to her bus stop. The sky is clear, the day blue. We walk with lazy steps letting a super mom with a stroller and her dog stride by swiftly, obviously out for her daily 'stay-fit' regimen. A couple of minutes pass by and I look at the trees at the horizon. My horizon isn't too far, just a couple of hundred feet away, limited by these very trees. And there I see, the storm brewing up and making it's way toward us at a furious pace. By the time, I talk with other parents about the looming storm, the wind starts blowing, rustling the leaves impatiently and the light grows dimmer. Within a minute of me noticing the storm, the day has changed it's hues and is growing darker. The super mom has turned and is coming back leaving her jog midway. Big drops of rain drizzle from up above. The bus comes at the nick of time and the kids are safely tucked inside, all bubbling with excitement about a possible tornado or a big storm with hard-hitting hail. I kiss her goodbye and run my way to home not wanting to get drenched. The storm has arrived. 

Many parallels have been drawn, metaphorically implying the 'weathery' storm to imitate our lives and our problems. It is true, that some storms hit you completely by surprise, with no fault of our own, and some, not as sudden. The not-so-sudden ones could be a result of our mistakes, or rather, missteps we took in our lives.  Reasons can be plenty. Age is not the prime factor. Sometimes our eyes are blinded by some superficial sheen, an ulterior attitude, a prideful persona, or simply immaturity. Immaturity to prioritize our needs, our wants, our desires and ultimately, our life. Mistakes occur out of ignorance, ignorance of the above cosmetics we care to wear, to stay fashionably appropriate. 

But after every storm, comes the calm. And this Calm, brings with itself, a second chance. A second chance to re-sort ourselves, to re-prioritize and to re-shape our future. The storm probably tore your house down and left you dazed and hurting immensely. But if pain can kill one's will, pain, can also nourish courage. What course of action you choose, the tamer or the bolder, depends on your personality and the yearning of your desires. But what you have in front of you, is this ornately beautiful 'Second Chance'. Take it or kick it. After all, a mistake, cannot be a mistake, if repeated. 

All I can say is 'We can't go back in time and make a brand new start. But we can start now and have a brand new End'. 

What's WhatsAPP?

So, why would you name your texting app, whatsApp??? Because, wassup wasn’t available? And it would be cool to put a pun on it and rename it WhatsApp making it well ‘jargoned’ technically?

Anyways, doesn’t matter. WhatsApp is the latest thingamabob YOU MUST HAVE on your smart phones. If you are not a Whatsapper, you don’t belong to this world and only God can save you???? You don’t have to be a purveyor of the latest gizmos and/or apps, but this is something you can’t NOT HAVE.

So now, apart from the regular school/building/train/bus/college/cousins groups, we now have a brand new line of groups:

Galli/Nukka group
Pan/Gutka group
Friends-who-drink group
Friends-who-don’t-drink group
Pinky’s dance class group
Chintu’s art class group
Kitty Party Group
Garba Group
TeenPatti Group…:)
Jain Pav Bhaji 'tasting' Group.....(you know what I mean ;))

And so on and so forth…. You can only be as creative as the endless labyrinths of your mind.

And we say that we have no time in the world, ya? So profound this gets. You can be busy only as busy can be. Priorities speak the truth!

 Talking about time, I wonder who makes up all these thousands of jokes that make their way through these ziggity-zaggety network of groups, exchanging screen by screen in less than a second (copy + paste at it’s best) and reaching you no matter where you are? The Santa Banta jokes, the gujju jokes, the sindhi jokes, and the ‘non-veg’ jokes. I can’t believe we still call it ‘non-veg’. Couldn’t it be just called ‘adult’ jokes? We Indians have some way to baptizing generic terminology, don’t we? And imagine the number of ‘lol’s’ that follow. INFINITE (my little boy’s favorite number). But I have to say, a lot of them are very funny and they can bring that incy vincy smile on your face in the middle of the most dreary day.

WhatsApp also inspires discussions, some good, some not-so-good, and also fights, some good and not-so-good :). And while it certainly shrinks our world (and we thought FACEBOOK did it, duh), it also makes us lazy.  

People!!!! A ‘whatsapp’ birthday message can never replace a phone call, as WORDS can never replace the VOICE. Let’s not do away with that one ‘primitive’, although ‘personal’ touch that can touch the chords of the heart and fill it with the ‘feel-goodness’.

Oh, well, the two sides of a coin. So, though I need to ‘mute’ my phone in the night for my over-enthusiastic ‘cousins’ (wink wink), I love it and it’s here to stay. So let’s keep whatsapping and be a ‘tap’ away from our ginormous circle of family and friends.

Stay connected!

Low on Patience!!!

Before I start this, I remember what Anushka told me last week when she was going all hyper for something and I said, 'Anushka, patience please'. She tells me: Mom, I am not a doctor. I don't have 'patients'. lollll. Anyways, to the topic.

I suffer from a rather quirky deficiency. Patience. Have always run very low on it. And I have yet to come across any 'multi-vitamin' that would help me with getting my levels up to the generically 'acceptable' ones.

They say 'good things come to those who wait'. But wait, I can’t. Agreed, that there are times when one does need to practice self-control with his actions as well as the verbal outbursts, especially in trying circumstances. Hurting someone else does not justify your impulsiveness. But how do I teach this self-control to this crazy brain and an absolute jerk of a heart?

They say 'Time is the best healer'. I would add, 'Time is also the best killer'. As you let time crawl in and let it mess with your very own feelings and visions, it acts as a slow poison. It’s like leaving a window open in your heart that is bursting with enthusiasm and excitement with your new thoughts and aspirations. A cool draft will make its way through this window and eventually dampen your spirit and mood. There is a quote that says 'Strike when the iron is hot', right? Time makes you complacent. Time extinguishes your fiery rage. Time kills your true spirit. Time brings you back to your sane ways. Time brings back the logic in your life.

Ya, ya, being hasty could possibly lead to regrets. But by following your instincts, you invariably prepare yourself for the consequences too. Hence, no matter the result, you will stand by the decision you took. After all, you did what you thought was right at that point of time, correct?
Remember, 'Intuition is a suspension of logic, due to impatience'. For just one brief second, do something totally impulsive. Something you ideally would resist. Could be as simple as yelling your lungs out. The feeling you experience therafter will be etched in your memory for a lifetime and liberate you from your fears and inhibitions. Forget regrets, it will actually make you smile.

My intention here by no means is to encourage 'Impatience'. Blessed are the ones who are in possession of this great virtue. But I do not thrive on it. I thrive on my restlessness, annoyance, excitement and rage and I know no way to suppress it. My intention is purely to 'Inspire, and be inspired'. Mind you,

If patience supports the weak,
Impatience ruins your strength too!!!

Double-edged sword huh???? :)

Drops n buds!!

The sky had lullaby'ed me with it's heavenly songs,
I had slipped into my dream world;
But when the sun pushed it's rays fiercely through the clouds,
The birds said 'hello', and graciously bowed!

The 'pitter-patter' on the grass, wakes the bud from their winter slumber,
Unfurl their tiny petals , to spread beauty in it's little splendour.
The trees turn white and pink,
The foliage a lush green!

The air is clear, distilled and distinct,
with the dampness of the mud, and smell of 'Spring';
Squirrels scurry away, in search of acorns,
Beauty animates in its natural instinct!

I feel happy, and sad too,
Coz there is beauty in bliss, and in sadness too,
As I see people go 'acchoo', 'acchoo'! :)

Allergies 'spring' at their peak,
pollens and blossoms, all compete;
Who is it that will 'weep' the most,
Jitu, Rupal, or the ghost!!!!! (lolllll)

Out comes the tissues and allergy pills,
makes you wonder, the biting cold or the flower frills;
Well, with all good, cometh always sorrow,
so weep, wail, yell or shout,
The rabbits are coming out from their burrow!!!

Holi and a colorful reverie!!!

It's Holi today and all my friends/family in India are making me jealous by posting their horribly-colored faces, almost inrecognizable pictures on Facebook. This takes me down the memory gulli to my days when I was a part of the 'Baccha-party'. Waking up at 6 am to fill water balloons. I never learnt how to tie it and hence, always used a thread. (Ya ya!!! I suck at a lot of things.)The balcony war would start at about 9ish. Gulshan 1 versus Gulshan 2. I was at a big big advantage coz I lived on Floor 9. Then about 10ish, equipped with a bucketful of balloons, a couple of pouches of dark red, purple or green color, and a few odd pichkaris amongst ourselves, we would head out to greet our allies (read the building boys)on the ground. What ensued was a lot of running, scurrying, hiding, and screaming. Our faces were beyond recognition and mom would not let us enter the house till she had covered the route uptil the bathroom with some towels so as to not spoil the precious floor. The maid had already done the jaadu-fatka yaar ;). And I would love when inspite of some severe scrubbing, the color wouldn't leave some part of the face, especially the earlobes, remember?

That was holi then. Now, we wait until the weekend to celebrate a 'Holi party' in a carpeted hall with mirrored walls, hence no gulaal and pichkaris. We carefully select the face paints (FDA approved, 'safe-on-skin' labeled) and then proceed to blush our faces with different hues of the primary palette. Nevertheless, it still very much is fun. To dip our hands in color and leave no friend clean and nice, its enthralling. It's bringing the childhood, that was hiding behind our adulthood/parenthood, to its wake and re-live its joy - the colorful, vibrant, glowing joy.

We combine this with performances, dance and/or skits, not only for our children to get a splash into our culture and the story behind Holi, but also for us, to get out of our inhibitions and mundane lives and sparkle it with the excitement as well as fringe it with the nervous butterflies.

But as we, in US of A, try hard to celebrate Holi the 'good ole' way, as much as we can, I have heard India, has advanced to a level that seems 'too modern' enough to give us a culture-shock. I am hearing of 'Dora'and 'Spiderman' pichkaris, robot-shaped water guns, color spray cans, organic and herbal gulaals, and wait, it gets better.......water-slide rentals for the garden parties, beer showers, vodka lassis, tequilla pani-puris, dholis from Rajasthan, etc etc. Cool, huh???

I wouldn't want to comment on whether it's taking the tradition out of the festival. Times change, and new ideas will definitely 'pour' in. As long as you keep the spirit of 'brotherhood' alive while you soak yourself with the fancy fuggas, Holi will live on!!!

Wish you all a very happy Holi!

YOUR MIND - NUMB AND DUMB!

Your mind is like a super computer, right? Ziiggggggzaaggggingggg, continuously processing data. Data that comes from our 5 senses:

Sight, Sound, Smell, Taste and Touch.

Oops, I forgot the sixth sense.

Our intuition.

What does it do with all this data?

-Run it through our intelligence unit,
-compare it with the generically acceptable norms,
-filters the data according to the personal taste, temperament and attributes, and then
-presents it in two modes: verbal, and action. Correct?

Result: Our feelings. Feelings of content, frustration, pride, anger, sorrow, worry, happiness, etc. This defines our ‘mood’. Mood, aka mode. Whoaaa!!!! I just described the most complex scientific phenomenon of our brain in the most technical verbology and format (notice the spacing ;). I should change my profession. Technical writer it is!!!!!

Anyways, let’s talk about controlling this process. What part of the above can be controlled? And should it be controlled?

Data collection: Totally factual. Objective. No control needs to be exercised.
Intelligence testing: Again, an inherited and custom-developed processing unit, alteration not possible.
Comparison: Optional. At the discretion of the user. But, often unavoidable, in most circumstances.
End-result: CONTROL, huh????

Again, controlling amounts to ‘suppression’, and not controlling amounts to ‘stupidity’. Language, being the most powerful expression tool. Language, thoughts, influenced through perception and your own individualized self-image.

If you have noticed, we are more susceptible to a certain train of thoughts than the other. Some, we are able to ignore and not get as affected, while the others stir stomach-churning emotions in us and make us weak and vulnerable.

And there are certain ideas, desires, or let’s say even ambitions, that have built over years not because you really want to achieve them, but have developed unconsciously in your mind purely through outside influence, parents, peers, society, etc.

Does this make any sense to you? Does it seem disjointed, this above line of thoughts? Exactly, my point. We are disjointed most of the times. Clarity is what most of us lack. The road ahead of us is blurred to us coz we are painting our glasses the color we don’t like. Lack of vision leads to confusion, indecisiveness, conflicts within ourselves, conflicts within our ideals and feelings, pure chaos in the little head above our fragile neck.

I hope. I hope that there will be a day, that will dawn so beautifully, with the most lovely hues of the color palette adorning the sky. The rays will glisten the blades on the grass, and I will put down my fancy sun glasses and learn to see with my own eyes. I will be me, I will be myself.

Great Expectations!!!

A follow-up on my earlier blog. Not that I am trying to delve into the dismal abyss of psychology. I call it dismal coz the deeper you get, the more complicated and mind-fogging it gets. The human mind is an object of the greatest mystery....capable of feeling the most extreme of emotions at any point of time.

The wise men say 'Lower your expectations, or improve your reality - two ways to achieve happiness'. Expectation being the keyword here. How hard or easy is it to separate this emotional phenomenon from our social being and stay in harmony with 'as is'? How does one 'un-feel' the anguish of attachments that sometimes hurt? How does one break free from the hopes and dreams that lie in our subconscious mind? Mind you, some of these 'expectations' stay hidden from us only to spring in front of our eyes in case of a sudden surprise or disappointment. How do you control something not visible most of the time?

Lowering expectations would probably lead you down to the path of detachment. To the path meant only for you to tread on. Here, you wouldn't have to worry about anyone else's needs or desires or dreams or wants or even fears. Here, it would be you, just you. Unshaped by anyone. A naked, true YOU. Free, albeit, lonely.

So, being lonely, can be both, happy as well as sad. Hmmm!!! Food for thought, huh?

So how do I 'not' expect? Can I 'not' expect? Should I 'not' expect? Well, I think I won't try to control my natural innane self that expects, either consciously or unconsiously. I just need to figure out how to handle disappointments. ;) Dream I will, but will learn how to arise. Fly I will, but with a parachute. Swim I will, but with a life jacket ;). Does that sound like a good plan????