Follow-up by Bhavesh

As a follow-up of my previous post, on the topic of parenting, my friend, Bhavesh, wanted to add his story. Here it is.

The entry on your blog reminds me of one of the episodes in my life, and how our perceptions and thinking changes as we grow.

Fresh out of college, upon being picked up at the campus interview by a small tech firm, I couldn't stop dreaming about my first paycheck on my first job. It was a trivial amount but it was important to me. But, little did I know that I was in for a rude shock of my life. My father, military-minded that he is, announces that I could use my first paycheck the way I want, but the subsequent ones will go into a savings account and I will be entitled to a monthly stipend to take care of my expenses. That was certainly a big blow to me as I watched my friends getting to enjoy their fair share. But it is now that I realize how the actions of my father affected me.  

A disciplined enforcement by him, that I hated at the time, made me clearer in my priorities that have truly been a blessing in disguise. Since money wasn't as important, I focused on honing my other skills, like my communication skills, PR skills and of course technical. The most important lesson I learnt, or realized, was money is not optional. Money is a necessary by-product of hard and sincere work. So while my friends changed jobs for better pay packages, I stayed in the same company for 5 full years, growing professionally, along with a super hike in my salary too, but on a gradual basis. I opted for a career than just money.

The moot point about this is as parents, we make choices. We pamper, yell, guide and support. We know each one comes with his own destiny and in the battle of life, each one fights his own war. We just try to equip them with the values and morals we deem are worthy. My father did what he thought was best for me, not what I wanted. Even if things hadn't gone the right way, his conscience would not have bothered him coz he knew he had given his best. And this is what I will strive to do as well.

I am the most beautiful person in the world!!!

No, I am not an egoistic, bragging, self-centered girl (I refuse to be called a woman) who thinks she has just won an international beauty pageant. These are the words of my daughter. Here is what happened verbatim.

Anushka and I have some argument, she gets her whiny self and is mad at me. 

Me: You don't like me, do you Anushka? Go find yourself an another mommy. A mommy who will listen to you, give you juice when you want, give you icecream when you want, lets you watch tv all the time. I am a bad mommy.

Anushka: Nooooooo. You are a good mommy.

Me: But I don't listen to you everytime.

Anushka: Thats okay mommy. You can say no sometimes.

Me: Are you sure?

Anushka: Yes, I love you. I think you have the best face in the world.

Me: Best face?

Anushka: You are the prettiest in the whole wide world.

Hallelujah!!! So there we go, I am the most beautiful person for my daughter. 

This reminds me of this chapter that we had in one of our school textbooks. It was about this village that was celebrating harvest time and all the people were out in the fields picking their crops. One of the villager finds a little girl crying. She had lost her mother and was hysterical. A few older men gather and ask her to give them something descriptive to identify her mom. Was she tall? Was she short? Was she fair? The girl then speaks, "My mother is the most beautiful person in the world." The men gather all the beautiful women and ask the girl if any is her mother. She says no. They are baffled. Then comes this little stout dark-skinned woman from nowhere and runs to take this girl into her arms. She was not what anyone would call beautiful. Then the men realize that for this girl, her mother is the most beautiful. 

Its a wonderful feeling how important you are for your kids at this particular time of their life. How long this 'importance' will stay, I don't know. And its understandable. As they will grow, they will have  other priorities to achieve. And I will willingly take a back seat in their life. Fore-seat, back-seat, doesn't matter, as long as I remain in their thoughts .....forever.

Coupon craving!

Conventionally, craving is associated with food. All sorts of food. Usually the time one is pregnant. Infact, pregnancy is the greatest excuse to express your weirdest craving and have your husband running around looking for it in the middle of the night. Anyways, I am out of my food-craving and am into coupon-craving. 

Call it coupon-craving, deal-craving, freebies-craving. All I try to do is get my hands on my laptop and look for the bestest deals of the day. And once I get it, I say to myself, whoaaaa, look at the money I am saving. Of course, there are things I wouldn't go looking for consciously, but c'mmon, the perks are always good. Perks are ego-boosters. Perks are exciting. Perks are thrilling. Perks are inviting. Perks are most welcome, aren't they? 

Over the past month, I have got myself a free pizza, free movie ticket, free 8x10 prints, free slippers, free cards, and have spent pennies on Anushka's dresses. Got a box of 100 paperclips for 19 cents. Who can beat that? Yes, I didn't need it, I know, but what the heck, its a deal you can't beat. And yes, I have been sharing it with friends. Sharing it around doubles the craving I have to say. Its hard to describe the sheer thrill you get out of getting things for free or just pennies. 

Anyways, I have to curb my enthusiasm before I become a laughing stock of my friends and people around. This has certainly changed the way I shop now. I would NEVER EVER pay full price for anything. I won't step out till I am convinced I don't have a coupon for my target store. I will hunt the net but it will be controlled. I promise. Cross my heart. All I need is some other addiction.....hehehe. Maybe I can just come back to my dear ole bloggin. :) 

Chopstick-Challenged!!!

Disclaimer: I mean no offence to the Chinese/Japanese culture. They command my highest respect. Afterall, if they can fly over roofs, jump over trees, and walk on water, I can only humbly bow to them.

Two little simple wooden sticks. Thats what they are. And it looks just so easy when they (by which I mean the chinkus/japus.....or should I say all the stretched-eye guys) eat their rice, noodles and everything with those bamboos spoons. But trust me, when you hold them in your hand, they can be very very tricky to maneuver around edible things. How on Earth do you hold rice with two plain sticks? Well, I guess it needs a lot of practice on talenting this skillset than just a few minutes in a restaurant.

And with that said, I officially declare myself as 'CHOPSTICK-CHALLENGED'. I can't work myself around those and I'd rather 'stick' to my fork and spoons. I probably would need to go to some classes if I really were to master the art and obviously, I don't have time for that.

P.S. The veg fried rice with the hot sauce is amazing at Sakura, the japanese restaurant. I'd highly recommend.

White vis-a-vis White

Yesterday, on my way back from Anushka's school, I saw the most weird combination Mother Nature could display. I see the trees heavily laden with white blossoms and in the middle of nowhere, I see a shower of flurries. At first, I kept wondering if its just the blossoms that are flying in the wind, but when they fell on my windshield and melted into water, I was zonked. Now what do you call this? Blossoms vs. Flurries?

Season Spring has arrived, budding has begun, squirrels are scampering away in the middle of the road scaring the hell out of me, bees are busily buzzing on the fresh flowers, geese are flying back from their south retreat, and people are making their camping reservations for the upcoming Summer. Then, why does winter refuse to leave? Why can't it just make a graceful exit for this year and hibernate till the next October? Why is it just hanging around like a lost spirit with an unfulfilled desire? (I just happened to watch 'Ghost' last week). 

Speaking about weird combinations, I also remember last Summer, in July, just before Raahil came, we took Mom and Dad out for a drive and on I-95, southward-bound, we witnessed hail. Imagine that!!! Hard balls of ice in the middle of summer. Unbelievable!

Well, as baffled as I am right now, I can't help but think of 'global warming' of which I know less. All I know is there is some kind of hole in the ozone layer which is responsible for the quality of atmosphere and also, of our atypical weather experiences over the last few years. Mumbai had a beautiful winter in 2007-08, something it has never had the pleasure of enjoying. While this year, there was absolutely no sign of it. Its just April and its already 40C there. Is Mumbai gonna just burn this year? The West also has its seasons messed up. Winter lingers, Summer shortens, Fall and Spring are short-lived. And if you do have a perfect day, temperature-wise, rain succeeds to ruin it for ya. I remember the days when rain inspired the romantic side of me and I loved it. But now, I just want a rain-less day for the kids to enjoy the outdoors. 

Well, all we can hope is Summer rushes in at its earliest and I am sure all of us can't just wait for the warmth to set in. 

Tip Of the Season: Get to the factory outlets to get the winterwear for the next season at the lowest prices. Especially, children's place. It has sweaters and turtlenecks for $2 or $3, the cheapest you could ever get. 

Jai Ho!!!

Note: (Sarcasm, well-intended)

Jai Ho! to Slumdog Millionaire.

Jai Ho! to A.R. Rehman.

Jai Ho! to Danny Boyle.

Jai Ho! to its million fans.

Jai Ho! to Smile Pinky, that also got an Oscar.

Jai Ho! to all the winners.

Jai Ho! to the economy. (How can i forget this?)

Jai Ho! to Barack Obama.

Jai Ho! to all the bailout-hungry banks.

Jai Ho! to the million dollar bonuses.

Jai Ho! to foreclosures, as opposed to this.

Jai Ho! to frugal living, as the westerners begin to understand its true meaning.

Jai Ho! to 'living within our means.'

Jai Ho! to India for her people manage to do that.

Jai Ho! to her extra emphasis on savings and less on spending.

Jai Ho! to Mumbaiites for their 'do-not-die' spirit, which I'd rather interpret as non-interference to the terror attacks.

Jai Ho! to the Indian government for the extra tolerance.

Jai Ho! to the Sri Lankans for the courage to step into the 'green' land.

Jai Ho! to the innocent victims that fell.

Jai Ho! to optimism.

Jai Ho! to praying. and finally,

Jai Ho! to blog-writing. 

Phewwwwww!!!!!

Coincidence or mysticism

The numbers 3, 6 and 9 have always been hovering around me throughout my life. I keep bumping into them all the time. Is there anything such as numerology? Are there lucky numbers, lucky letters, or lucky gems? People go through the hassle of changing their names, Ms. Kapoor keeps digging for 'k' worded-serials and some pop a bright blue turquoise on their fingers just to keep Lady Luck with them. But does the Lady Luck have such preferences? Or is it all just pre-ordained fate and pre-written destiny?

At this point in my life, the number 3 seems to be shadowing me. 

33 years - Jignesh has walked on this face of Earth.

30 years - I have.

3 years - Anushka is in her terrible three's.

3 months - Raahil has been around.

Now, is this a mere coincidence that we all are in our '3s', or is there some mysticism surrounding us?

Right from the floor I lived on, to the number of my car, my graduation certificate number, the birthdates of my family - and friends, everything has had my 'so-called' lucky numbers. There have been few dates and numbers which are not 3, 6 and 9, but that is something I can count on my fingers. The other significant figures have been innumerable, too innumerable to list. 

Well, whatever the case, one part of my heart says to believe in it, coz that kinda gives a sparkle to our life, a ray of hope, a somewhat-reliable expectation. But of course it is important to tread on the sands with an open mind too, so as to avoid disappointments. Balance is the key I suppose. So, go ahead, sparkle and shine, not in the sky, but as a glinting speck on a rock nearby.